Think and Discuss: Unashamed

I just finished reading a very good book called "Passing by Samaria" by Sharon Ewell Foster. It takes place in 1919 after the Civil War during times of great social unrest due to prejudice, hate crimes and chaos. I loved this book! But there was a part that caught my attention. The main character, Alena, is from Mississippi. She grew up wearing beautiful natural hair. When issues arise in her home town that cause her parents to fear for her safety and life, they send her to Chicago to live with her Aunt. When she arrives in the city, she is mesmerized by the black women with straight hair. After falling in love, towards the end of the book, she tells her fiance that she planned to relax her hair. He told her how much he loved her hair and how beautiful it was... Days later she sat in front of the mirror and told herself, "My hair is beautiful... my hair is beautiful.. my hair is beautiful!" The third time, she believed it.

During that time period in American history, it was known and understood that Blacks were seen as less. Generation, after generation of white me taught their children that blacks were less than human, they were animals.

[Disclaimer: There were exceptions on to this. Not all whites were of the afore mentioned belief system.There were many whites who knew this was wrong and tried to reverse the viscous cycle. However, this often resulted in harm, death or worse brought upon themselves and their home.]

As a result, blacks lived a life of inferiority in everything they did. They had to take the back of the bus, they had to pick up food in the back, they had to get out of line for a white person to go in front, etc. Sadly, many of them lived believing that their hair was ugly, their skin was ugly, and they were no more than animals. They were rejected by others, so they in turn rejected themselves. (I am speaking in generalities)

When things such as bleaching creams, straightening combs, and hair refinement creams (relaxers) were invented, black men and women took advantage of them in an attempt to leave behind the pain and scars of who they were. They sought to Europeanize themselves.

Here we are hundreds of years later and nothing has changed!!

Many dark skinned women in America today wish they were lighter because they don't like their skin.

Many black women still relax their hair because its "nappy" and they aren't comfortable with it.

When will it end? When will the cycle that began years ago end?

HOW will it end?!

It starts with YOU and it starts with ME. Loving, embracing and being confident in who we truly are!! We don't have to be ashamed of our skin. Be it vanilla, caramel or chocolate. We don't have to be ashamed of our hair. Be it spirals, coils or frizzy. We don't have to be ashamed of ourselves anymore. I decided to stop that 3 years ago. I wear natural hair because I love who I am. My creator made me this way and I love it. I don't want to be something I am not! I don't want my children to see mommy trying to transform and reinvent herself one day. I want them to know that mommy is happy with who she is!!

Taken in 2010

What are your thoughts? Have you ever thought about how much slavery and racial tension in America has contributed to the way Black women feel about their hair and themselves? Do you think that a lot of those self esteem issues have been passed down to us? How do you plan to overcome this cycle?